Saying Goodbye
by eMoChIcK01
Summary: Remus has trouble getting over Sirius's death. That is until he has an unexpected visitor in the middle of the night. Please R&R. RLSB. PG13, just to be safe. one shot


Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot. It is all owned by J.K. Rowling.

Remus has trouble getting over the death of Sirius, until he has an unexpected visit in the middle of the night.

Saying Goodbye:

The house had been silent for the two weeks since that fatal day at the ministry. The few occupants left were still in mourning. Occasionally, low sobs could be heard from the back room on the third floor. Only one ever went in that room now.

That night was a clear night. Remus sat on the window sill clutching his knee to his chest, his cheek resting on his knee. His leg dangled down. The only sound to be heard was the soft, rhythmic tapping of his foot hitting the side of the house as it swayed back and forth. With the clear skies, the moon and stars shone brightly over Grimmuald Place.

Remus looked at his watch and sighed. It was three in the morning and he knew he wasn't going to sleep that night. Everyone else was no doubt asleep by then. A tear rolled down his cheek. He didn't eve bother wiping it away. Another tear came, then another, then another. Soon, Remus was sobbing. His sobs came on full force.

"Why are you crying, Remus?"

Remus looked up from where he sat. At the sight of what he saw, he lost his balance. He reached out and grabbed at the air to keep him from falling. He swung his leg around to bring himself back in the house.

"What are you doing here?" Remus asked. He shook his head and rubbed his eyes. "Oh dear God, I'm going crazy."

I'm hallucinating, he thought to himself, for standing in the doorway was Sirius Black. Remus's sight blurred, and he stumbled a little, but he caught his balance before he fell backwards.

"Oh, Moony, you look terrible. When was the last time you ate?" Sirius said.

"You're not real. You're a figment of my imagination!" Remus blurted out, tears rolling down his cheek.

Sirius frowned at the words and took a few steps forward. Remus shook his head, "I'm going crazy. I'm dreaming. This isn't happening to me."

Sirius placed one hand on Remus's cheek, wiping a tear away with his thumb. There was a sharp in take of breath at the touch. Remus tried to move away, but he found he was unable to move.

More tears came, "You can't be…" Remus started. He was cut off when Sirius placed his lips softly on Remus's, then pulled away. "Real," Remus finished in a whisper.

There was a long pause, when Sirius tried to get Remus to look at him, but was unsuccessful. Finally, Remus looked up and gazed into Sirius's blue eyes, "What's happening to me?" Remus asked, mainly to himself.

"Nothing," the half-expected, half-wanted, reply came.

"Then where are you here? Why…How am I seeing you? How is it possible?" Remus asked.

Sirius laughed slightly. "You are always looking for a reason for everything, Mooney. As long as I've known you, you just couldn't let things be the way they were. This time, don't look for an answer, let it just be."

"I can't. You aren't supposed to be here. It's not possible. You…You…" Remus trailed off. He didn't want to say the word, for he knew if he did, it would be real. He knew that if he admitted it to himself, Sirius really would be gone.

"Died?" Sirius finished. "Yes, I know. How could I forget? No longer do I have you by my side to keep me sane. No longer do I have you in my bed, to snuggle with; to keep me warm at night."

"Why did you leave me?" asked Remus.

"I had to," Sirius simply replied, knowing full well that it wouldn't be enough of an answer.

"Damn it, Padfoot! I loved you and you just leave me here to live life alone?" Remus said, angrily.

"Do you think I wanted to leave? Do you think I wanted to die that day? I wasn't ready! There was so much I wanted to do! What about Harry? I was supposed to take care of him! I promised James I would keep him safe! I made a promise to him…our best friend, Remus. I broke my promise to my _best friend_!" Sirius said, half-annoyed. "But most of all…I wanted to grow old with you. I wanted to have a life with you."

"I…I…" Remus trailed off, not sure what he was supposed to say.

"Oh, Moony," Sirius said soothingly. "I don't have an explanation for you. As much as I want one…I don't. It was just my time to go."

Tears began to stream down Remus's cheek once again. A series of scenes began to play in his head. The first time he met Sirius. As an excited, eleven year old boy, with straggly, black hair and blue eyes, sitting on the train to Hogwarts. When people found out what he was and sent him threatening owls in his fifth year, Sirius had fund him in the Astronomy Tower, crying. He stayed with him all night, while he cried on his shoulder. The Graduation Ball, where he first realized that he was in love with Sirius. They had snuck off to the lake, where they had sat and talked for hours. The first time he was with Sirius. It had been so romantic. Candles were levitating all around the room, giving off a vanilla scent, and bright red smoke.

Snapping out o his trance, he looked up to see Sirius watching him with amazement, care, wonder, and most of all, love.

"I loved you, Padfoot. I loved you so much, but now you're gone, and I can't get you back. I can never get you back," Remus sobbed.

"I love you, too, Mooney," Sirius said.

Remus sat down on the edge of the bed. He buried his face in his hands, trying to take everything in at once. It was all coming on so fast. Sirius sat down next to him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

Remus looked at Sirius, "I miss you, Sirius."

"Oh, Remus," Sirius cried. He cupped Remus's face, and placed his lips firmly on his former lover's lips.

Pulling away, Remus asked, "What are you doing here? Why did you come back?"

"Just my way of saying goodbye. You needed it. You needed closure," answered Sirius.

He pulled Remus into a kiss one ore time, knowing it would be their last. He slid is tongue along Remus's lower lip until he was allowed entrance. His entwined themselves in Remus's unkempt hair as he explored his mouth. His tongue massaged the Remus's mouth while Remus sucked on his lower lip.

Remus woke with a start. 'It was only a dream?' he thought to himself. He looked at his watch. Three o'clock, it read. Groaning, he held a pillow close to him, gripping it tightly. He began to sob into it.

"Goodbye, my love. I will watch over you always," Remus heard in his head.

Just then, he knew there was something real about that dream. He had said goodbye to his love.

A/N: Well then…I guess that's it. I enjoyed writing that, and I hope you enjoyed reading it.


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